I am delighted to have Becky Jane from
Rise Above Your Limits guest posting here on Grandma Bonnie's Closet. I hope you all enjoy her post. Please stop over to her blog and see what a mother of eleven children has to say!
Happy Helpers
Let’s face it…it’s a roller coaster ride when it comes to getting consistent, good help from our kids!
If you’re the Mother of more than one child, you might have noticed that there are times when one of them is especially helpful, and the others are especially un-helpful. This has always been a dilemma for me.
I am always grateful when one of my kids picks up a mess without being told, doesn't argue when asked to do a chore or actually does their chores without being asked. I’m especially grateful for the kid that is extra cheerful and kind! *smiling*
HERE’S THE DELIMA…the child that is being extra helpful can see that he/she is doing more work and it isn't fair...HOW do I encourage this child to continue on and yet not feel picked on because of their good deeds?
Right now, my best helper is my 12 year old son. He seems to be always there and ready to help when everyone else is complaining about helping, and sometimes he gets tired of it. He likes to help (I know, enjoy it while it lasts), but I don’t want him to feel over-USED while everyone else is playing and having a good time.
Several years ago I came up with a solution...a way of secretly rewarding that special helper child. In my closet I have a special tote with 'THINGS' in it...things that my kids like such as toys, umbrellas, fun socks, hair stuff (for the girls) etc., and of course $$$ (for the older ones)! Whenever I see someone repeatedly going the extra mile, I secretly pull them aside and let them pick something out of the tote.
The only rule I have is they cannot tell the other kids that they got something; it must be kept a secret! This makes it even more fun for them! They also understand that their rewards will come at inconsistent times…they can’t ask for a reward or expect to be rewarded every time they are good. (Being good has its own rewards)!
In order not to break-the-bank, I keep my eye out for sales and the dollar store carries some fun items too! Don’t make it a financial burden, keep the ‘THINGS’ inexpensive yet fun!
This system of secret recognition has worked out quite well for our family. The child is rewarded and encouraged to keep up the good work!
Being the Mother of 11 children, I hope I’ve learned a few things…